FIRST ANNUAL FREEZEYOURKEISTER (FYK) PADDLE

 (October 14-15, 2006)

 TOP TEN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY :

10.  Reading the river manual is optional.

 9.  Scouting new rapids is mandatory and scouting all rapids is recommended.

 8.  Always check your dry suit zipper, head gear, spray-skirt and drain plug before venturing into cold water.

 7.  Polly can cook and paddle; the rest of us can eat and paddle.

 6.  Allow extra time for scouting future adventures when tripping in the GLENN-MOBILE.

 5.  Allow extra time for scouting new boats when tripping with Ken.

 4.  Reserve a heated room when Ken says it is 55o F.

 3.  A cold day on the river with friends is better than a warm day at work.

 2.  River-side down is better than river-side up  (BRR......... ice cream headache – no calories).

 1.  FUNFUNFUNFYKFYN….

THE GORY DETAILS:

Polly coordinated a great trip down the Wolf River Section IV (including contacting Ralph), a great meal and a great time overall.  Thank you Polly!

Enroute Ken insisted it was 55o F. but the digital temperature read-out in the GLENN-MOBILE as well as the snow-encrusted vehicles coming from the north de-bunked his statement.

The digital read-out in theGLENN-MOBILE said that it was a hearty 33oF. when we started from the put- in and indicated a balmy 43oF. at the take out.  Those of you who have invested in the hand-warmer industry, rejoice!  Pure Water Paddlers (PWP) Polly, Ken, Glenn and Janelle were joined by Alon (Chippewa Falls), Kari (Twin Cities/Madison), Dan (Twin Cities), and Dave (Twin Cities).  The accompaniment of the latter four was much appreciated as they provided extra enthusiasm as well as assisted with a few cold water rescue and cold water swimming “demonstrations”.  Curiously, the gals were all paddling pods while the guys were all paddling shells.  Hmmmm… the guys must not have read the river manual as White Water Quiet Water et. al.  (Palzer, Bob and Jody; pp 152-154; 8th Edition; 1988) rates Section IV as Class III, 91%, decked boats only at 200-900cfs. Good thing- they would have missed a freezing fun time.

After a much needed warm up (the shuttle provided a face-chilling factor) on flat water and Evergreen Rapids the frozen entourage encountered Sullivan Rapids. The veterans of the river provided valuable advice as the newbie’s to this stretch of the river made it through this rapids (that the manual says must be portaged) upright and dry W1.jpg MONK2.jpg MONK5.jpg.    We continued down the river through Duck’s Nest (Scouting Ducks Nest), an unnamed CL II rapids, Tea Kettle and the Upper Dells.  By this time it was apparent that Alon was the undisputed claimant of the “Just Do It” award as he was in the process of “venturing” from a pod-person to open boater while running Class II-IV rapids in cold weather conditions (Alon at Sullivan). The rest of us were using our tried and true option.  Polly demonstrated the first combat roll of the day.  Not to be out-done, Janelle demonstrated a few combat rolls followed by an ice cream headache.  The final time in the river- she achieved the “Up a Creek Without a Paddle” status.  She regained her composure and equipment assisted by Polly, Dan and Alon.  Dave demonstrated a great boof and brace at the Upper Dells.  Kari ran center through the small hole at the bottom of the Upper Dells W5.jpg.

Dave demonstrated the perfect left center run at the entrance to the Lower  Dells W6.jpg.  Dan, however, achieved the “Up a Creek WITH a Paddle” award after running the far left line of the Lower Dells.  After hitting the “eddy” far river left he demonstrated a move that utilized not only the current, but also some advanced gymnastic moves to maneuver his trusty NITRO over one boulder, between two others, through a hole upright and dry W9.jpg W10.jpg W11.jpg W12.jpg.  A few of the open boaters speculated it was the boat  that accomplished the run –river side down. I dunno.

All proceeded to Big Smoky where there was a brief but chilly scouting of this slide followed by a vertical drop and pool.  All scouted the run except for Polly who remained in her warm boat.  Seems as if her keister was smarter than the rest of ours.   She started the run by demonstrating a near perfect line through the slide followed by a great boof and drop to the pool below .  She made it look simple; those of us who were debating whether we wanted to risk a potential bone-chilling boat side up run were reassured.   Dan clocked the fasted run to achieve the “Speedy Bullet” award W13.jpg while Glenn pulled out an interesting paddling technique (or more to point, an interesting paddle) to make for the magical run of the day.  Folks- you have to see the video. Here is a preview : GLEN.jpg  GLEN1.jpg GLEN2.jpg.   As on almost every trip, Ken finds an opportunity to roll his canoe.   Glenn made it through the drop dry so the pressure was on Ken to do the same .  He ran upright through the slide and his journey was completed with a canoe roll in the pool as the finale’.  As the locals had never seen a canoe roll- kudos for  putting the pressure on Ken.

At the end of the day we had a great home-cooked meal in a warm room (room courteousy of The Bear Paw personnel).  Dinner started with a warm-up viewing of ‘Deliverance’ and finalized with warm apple cider and the main attraction courteousy of Dan’s and Ken’s videography. 

On Sunday Polly, Alon and Kari were joined by John McConville (West Bend, WI)  to “re-run” section IV.   Polly reported a good run overall and that fortunately it was warmer than the previous day.  Rumor has it she played a little too hard and got a little too wet. Glenn and Janelle ran the Red River before departing for home .  Ken ran the falls first.  Glenn “ran” the shore  and then ran the rapids on the “buddy system” with Ken MONK3.jpg.  Janelle also ran the rapids river-side down MONK4.jpg.

<THANX TO ALL PADDLERS FOR A FUN, SAFE, FROZEN AVENTURE>